How I can write something useful about "Belief in Oneself" that has not been stated before, or is there a way that I can say it differently? Somehow I believe I can.

Question: Is it possible to believe in yourself without knowing who you really are in the deepest part of you? Is it limited at all by unhealed, or unaddressed, wounds, resentments or anger?

We, at ACC, believe that belief in self expands as you become more attuned to your core values, and thus more aligned with a life of integrity in thought, word, and deed.

Examine any of your relationships and you will find we base each, including the one with ourselves, on unspoken agreements.

For example, my daughter Lana and I have never told one another (explicitly agreed), "Neither of us will yell at each other or disrespect one another." Nor have we expressed to each other that "dad will support you (emotionally) even when you do not support yourself because that is what dads do", and yet, those silently understood agreements define our relationship, and empower it.

On the other hand, do you know of any relationships in which the parties permit themselves to mistreat one another, even in public, on occasions?

Belief in yourself begins with making agreements to yourself and others that reflect your previously identified values, such as self-respect, respect of others, loyalty, credibility, trust, hopefully belief in a higher power, and then honoring those agreements as a lifelong process. This process necessarily involves the courage to look honestly in the mirror and shine the light.

If I honor my core values, make the words to myself and others sacrosanct, I will inevitably grow into my best self, which will lead to the compassionate healing of old wounds, the release of resentments, and a self-esteem that is rooted in the lifelong search for truth. Then, and only then, will I know and experience that in life the only limits to the realization of our hopes and dreams exist within the lies we tell ourselves—you know, the ones that control us, and permit us to live un-attuned to who we really are.

To the extent that we appreciate the beauty that is in and all around us, the more we will believe that our deepest dreams can be realized, if we will know when to get out of our own way.

So, where do you fall short in believing in yourself? What limitations have you constructed to block yourself? What agreements need to be discarded or revised? What do you need to let go? What do you really believe about yourself?

Richard S. Jaffe, ACC, CPCC, JD.
http://www.acoachforchampions.com/